Supporting Your Child's Emotions During Uncertain Times
Meagan Ledendecker • May 4, 2020

As families we are currently faced with enormous challenges we very likely did not predict or expect. Your children are home from school, you are likely working from home, the streets are eerily silent, and grocery stores are weird places. We’re all a little on edge, and as you might imagine, this is also a difficult time for our children. You’ve likely seen a host of surprising emotions pour from them in recent weeks. We know you want to be there for your child, and this is a lot to handle at once. In this article we share some ideas to help you support your little ones as we all navigate through these tricky times.
Slow down
Our lives typically move at a fairly rapid pace. Now that many of us are forced to stay home, the change can feel a little jarring. Embrace slowing down; consider this an opportunity to take your time and really engage and recognize what is important in the moment. For those of you who are not staying home, we know this will be even more of a challenge than usual, but try to find ways to allow your child to do so.
Life moves on. We still have deadlines, and careful consideration of daily structure and schedule will help bring some normalcy to an otherwise chaotic period, but if you are at home, it’s okay to pause once in a while. Look out the window together and admire the rain pouring down. Make a delicious lunch together. Reread those library books you can’t return right now.
Make the connections they cannot
True story: a child takes out a toy they were given as a gift months ago. After spending time creating a masterpiece, they realize it won’t turn out as they planned. Tears begin to fall, which quickly turns into sobs and exclamations that this is the worst day of their lives. They are inconsolable. As the minutes tick by, you wonder why they are making such a big deal out of something so small.
It’s not really about the toy.
Your child probably doesn’t even realize it, but the sum of various stressors has built up and shown itself as an emotional outburst that feels extreme to those around them. It’s not. Their routine is different, they are missing spending time with their peers and teachers, and they may know enough about what’s going on in the world to feel a little (or a lot) concerned. Our children are still learning to express themselves and identify their own emotions. They are not always able to make the connections, but we can help.
While our own stress may be heightened as well, remember that it’s even harder for our children. Just knowing this can help us as parents find the empathy our children need from us in this unsettling time.
Be there
We have our own work as adults. Working from home is an adjustment for those of us who don’t normally do so, and trying to balance that with being a teacher or guide for your child is no easy feat. Some of us even have jobs that require us to support our communities in times of need. We have worries about our parents, grandparents, and others. We read the news and feel intense pressure to follow countless new procedures that are new and stressful. Those concerns are 100% valid. Take your time to deal with them as best you can.
As much as you are physically and emotionally able, remember to be there for your child. Be there to listen to them. Be there to play. Be there to snuggle when it all feels like too much. Show them that even though their world is unpredictable, you are there.
Be honest (but age-appropriate)
Our children are smart, and often pick up on more than we realize. Don’t try to hide what’s going on. Talk to them. Does your six-year-old need to know about mortality rates? Of course not. Are they developmentally able to know that there is a virus traveling around the world that affects different people differently, and that the steps we are all taking are to help care for one another? They sure are.
You know your child best. Turn off the news, but talk to them. Give them the most information you can to help them feel informed, but not more than you think they can handle. Be open for questions. Let them know when you don’t have an answer or if you’re not comfortable talking about certain things.
Another important element of honesty right now: let your children in on your own emotions. Again, there is no need to burden them with things they are not ready to handle, but it’s a good thing to show them that even adults get scared. We have moments of worry, confusion, and frustration. Let them see that, and consider those moments as opportunities to model ways to appropriately express and process unpleasant emotions.
Highlight the positive
Spending your days at home together may not be what you had planned, but there is so much good that can come out of the unexpected. Spend a bit of time each day focusing on gratitude. Whether you point out little things in the moment, or make a more formal practice each evening as a family, finding ways to focus on what’s good is helpful for everyone. Some ideas:
- Share a news story of people finding beauty in challenging times (like the videos of Italians singing to one another from their balconies).
- Celebrate the fact that if you’re so inclined, you can bake cookies together in the middle of the afternoon.
- Over dinner, have everyone share one or two good things about their day.
- Depending on your location and restrictions, enjoy the fact that nature is one place that doesn’t close down. Take advantage of quiet trails, shorelines, and even parks.
- Share the joy with others. Consider calling someone who lives by themselves and may be feeling lonely. It’s hard enough to self-isolate with others, but having no one to talk to day after day is even harder.
We leave you with a poem of gratitude, written in the thirteenth century by Jalal Al-Din and translated by Coleman Barks and John Moyne.
Today, Like Every Other Day, We Wake Up Empty
Today, like every other day, we wake up empty
and frightened. Don’t open the door to the study
and begin reading. Take down a musical
instrument.
Let the beauty we love be what we do.
There are hundreds of ways to kneel and kiss the
ground.

If you've spent any time in a Montessori early childhood classroom, you've likely noticed the sandpaper letters on the shelf: elegant, tactile, traced by small fingers again and again. And if you've looked closely, you may have noticed something that surprises many families. Those letters are in cursive. In a world where most children learn to print first, Montessori's cursive-first approach raises questions. Why cursive? Why so early? The answers reach back to Dr. Maria Montessori's own careful observations of children, as well as forward to what modern neuroscience is now confirming about the developing brain. What Dr. Montessori Actually Observed Dr. Montessori was a meticulous observer of children, and her thinking about writing developed through years of direct experimentation. One of her core observations was that children naturally gravitate toward curved, flowing lines rather than the rigid, straight strokes that were (and often still are) the starting point for teaching print. She noticed this pattern across multiple contexts. When children who were learning to write began with rows of straight strokes, their attention would gradually drift, and the straight lines would slowly transform into curves, as if the child's hand were following its own natural inclination. And when children drew spontaneously by tracing figures in sand with a fallen twig, or scribbling freely on paper, they rarely produced short, straight lines. Instead, they made long, flowing, interlaced curves. Dr. Montessori paid attention. Rather than something random, she recognized the hand's natural motion expressing itself. Critical of standard teaching approaches that began with isolated geometric strokes, or regimented mark-making, Dr. Montessori saw that cursive script, with its connected, flowing letters, aligned far more naturally with the motions children were already making. It worked with the child's hand, rather than against it. The Neurological Case for Cursive Thanks to her keen observations, Dr. Montessori intuited benefits that research is now beginning to confirm. Modern brain science provides a compelling case for the value of cursive writing. This is especially powerful in early childhood, when the brain is forming the connections that will support reading, fine motor coordination, and cognitive development for years to come. Dr. William R. Klemm, writing in Psychology Today, summarized findings showing that learning cursive trains the brain to develop what researchers call “functional specialization,” or the capacity for optimal efficiency. Brain imaging studies show how multiple areas of the brain are activated simultaneously during cursive writing in a way that doesn't happen with typing or print. The integration of sensation, movement control, and thinking that cursive requires appears to support broader cognitive development in genuinely significant ways. Klemm also suggested that learning cursive trains the brain for more effective visual scanning, with potential benefits for reading speed and hand-eye coordination. In other words, the child who traces cursive sandpaper letters with their fingertips is developing neural pathways that support a wide range of future learning. Clarity, Beauty, and the Practical Benefits Beyond the neurological research, there are practical reasons that Montessori educators have observed over generations of practice. Cursive provides a better visual distinction between letters that are easily confused in print. Think about the pairs that trip up so many young learners: b and d, p and q. In cursive, these letters look different from one another, which reduces the visual confusion that causes so many children to struggle in the early stages of reading and writing. And then there is the matter of beauty, something Dr. Montessori took seriously in everything she prepared for children. She wrote that, in teaching writing, we should pay close attention to "the beauty of form" and "the flowing quality of the letters." Cursive handwriting, when developed well, is genuinely lovely. It is a form of penmanship that connects children to a long tradition of human expression through the written word. The Montessori approach treats handwriting as a craft worth caring about. What This Looks Like in the Classroom In a Montessori early childhood environment, the path to writing begins long before a child picks up a pencil. Practical life activities like pouring, spooning, buttoning, and lacing quietly help children develop the fine motor control and hand-eye coordination that writing requires. The sensorial materials train children’s pincer grip and refine the precision of small muscle movements. And the metal insets give children practice with the flowing, curved lines that build cursive letters. Then children begin using the sandpaper letters. While verbalizing the phonetic sound, children trace the letter with two fingers. Children feel the letter, produce its sound, and see its form. This multi-sensory experience engages multiple brain areas simultaneously and creates rich, layered associations that support both writing and reading development. By the time children are ready to write independently, they have been preparing their hand and mind for months, often without even realizing it. A Method Ahead of Its Time Dr. Montessori consistently arrived at insights that research has later confirmed. Her reasons for emphasizing cursive were rooted in direct observation of children. She watched children’s hands and their natural movements. She also looked to see what helped them and what created unnecessary struggle. Dr. Montessori wasn't following a trend or a theory. She was following the child. Decades later, brain imaging technology and developmental research are catching up to what Dr. Montessori saw. Flowing lines of cursive script, the sandpaper letters on the shelf, the careful preparation of the hand before children ever pick up the pencil. This is a deep and practical understanding of how children's minds and bodies actually work. For families curious about why Montessori makes this choice, the short answer is this: because children's hands already know how to make these movements. Montessori simply listens to what the hand is already telling us and builds from there. Visit our school in Lenox, MA and see the sandpaper letters and writing materials in action. We'd love to show you how the path to writing unfolds in Montessori.







